Episode Aborted

For a definition and understanding of what a bipolar episode is click on this website.

In the past two weeks I have had quite a few stressful situations all happening in a short amount of time. Some of these are triggers (I'll post on that later). I know this because they are in my wellness notebook (post later). The first big trigger was my dad (who also is bipolar) being admitted to the hospital on an involutary 72-hour suicide watch on Aug 29th. Another trigger is the change of seasons. Not necessarily weather, but from summer schedule to fall schedule. The third trigger is that my memory-processing issue is getting worse. I can't remember anything and I feel LOST. Simple task require so much from me right now.

Last Saturday my DH and I realized that I had temporarily packed my schedule way to full. It is easy to do at the beginning of the school year. We didn't even notice until we were right in the middle of it. On Saturday we decided that after Sunday's activities which were back to back I would cut back my schedule. Well that was good in theory, but I was already so tired and close to the edge I didn't make it through my Sunday activities. I really belived that I HAD to go to a baby shower because I was on the planning team. Looking back this is not the case. I didn't have to go. Most of my friends including the honoree know my situation. It would have been completely fine to call a few people and say I needed to stay home. Especially since I had a leaders meeting of the one ministry I'm involved in at church that night. That should have been the only thing on my schedule that day. So due to my own lack of planning (or over planning) I had a meltdown Sunday afternoon. When I came home a mess my DH was able to help me calm down so that I could go to my meeting. Now I could have skipped the meeting, but this ministry outside of taking care of my family is the ONE thing that I'm really good at right now. It is the only outside committment that I consider mandatory. Since Sunday DH and I have worked an at home 72-hour plan that keeps me from having a full blown episode. Included in this plan:
1. Review activities and decrease schedule by one-third for at least 7-10 days.
2. Reduce stimulation (loud noise, light, talking). Keep days low-key.
3. Regulate sleep - no naps - in bed around 10pm wake up no earlier that 6am.
4. Monitor medicine intake.
5. Be positive and have sense of humor.

If my plan didn't work the next step would have been to call the doctor and get in for an appointment or go into out-patient or in-patient treatment.

My mood stablized on Tuesday. Last night I was able to effectively minister at church.

My dad is still in the hospital. He was on suicide watch for about 10 days. Today he is being transfered to another unit where he will be there for atleast a week. I will have to be very attentive to my feelings regarding this situation.